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Mack Brown’s Possible Replacements November 25, 2013

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texas_coach_mack_brown1Allow me to preface this article in that writing this brings me no joy at all.  For the majority of Mack Brown’s tenure at the University of Texas, he proved to be the perfect organizational fit for the program and the university.  Moreover, he is demonstrably among the most adept coaches in college football at the ‘people’ side of the business.  One can clearly see this in how we carries himself during the impromptu halftime interviews before he heads into the locker room to make halftime adjustments with his team.  Anybody who has observed him during these interviews can vouch that he comes across as a happy gentleman to the sideline reporter for that given game, and he treats said reporter as if he or she is certainly worth his time, despite the more pressing matters that surely weigh on his mind at those given moments.  Reportedly, he treats people with the same class and dignity behind the scenes/off-camera as well.

The problem, however, is that since the 2010 season, the program has clearly headed in the wrong direction.  The mediocre season of 2006 was excusable, given the drop-off a defending national champion normally experiences (Alabama being an exception to the rule).  The fact that they were able to return to the national title game just four years after winning their most recent one showed that the program was still among the strongest nationally.  Yet starting in 2010, a precipitous drop-off in performance occurred, one that made the 2006 season look phenomenal by comparison.

Granted, not all of this is Mack Brown’s fault.  The downside to being one of the sexiest programs in all of college football is that you are constantly a prime target for other programs to lure away your best assistant coaches, either for lateral moves with even higher pay, or for head coaching gigs of their own, such as Bryan Harsin (erstwhile offensive coordinator, now head coach at Arkansas State) or Will Muschamp (formerly defensive coordinator, currently embattled Florida head coach).  This creates a major problem of coaching continuity.  How this translates into the program suffering is simple:  instead of concentrating all of his off-the-field attention on recruiting, Brown and Co. have to divert part of that time and energy into hunting for suitable replacement personnel.  This reduced time for recruiting analysis in turn leads to whiffing on key recruits, which partially explains the Horns’ mediocre-to-weak performances in most of its big games since 2010.

Another issue is institutional arrogance, something Mack Brown could help curtail, but hasn’t.  He once bragged that if he were head coach at Texas in 1997, he would not have overlooked Drew Brees as possible QB for the Horns.  Yet despite this boast, he clearly overlooked Johnny Manziel, and when Texas tried to recruit Robert Griffin III, they tried to recruit him as a defensive back.  Let that sink in for a moment.  Such institutional arrogance can most effectively be curtailed by the head coach himself, and yet the problem has yet to be addressed.

After a couple of embarrassing losses earlier in the year (one to BYU, the other to Ole Miss), we all left the program for dead.  Then the unexpected happened in that instead of getting blown out by Oklahoma in the Red River Shootout (like in 2012), we had our way with the Sooners instead.  Needless to say, this took us all by surprise, albeit pleasantly.  We quickly got the impression that perhaps things had quickly turned out, that all it took was the firing of defensive coordinator Manny Diaz and replacing him with the more capable Greg Robinson.  More wins over TCU and Kansas soon followed.  We initially chalked up having to go into OT to beat West Virginia to simple things such as, A) it was on the road, and B) it was West Virginia, and team very unpredictable in terms of whether they will come out flat or with their hair on fire.

But after the undressing the Longhorns had at the hands of Oklahoma State last week, we were all shocked back into reality.  There are still systemic problems in the program that have remained unaddressed.  The positively embarrassing loss to Oklahoma last year left many fans grumbling that it was time for a changing of the guard, including the thoughtful writers at Barking Carnival.  Even after a face-saving win over the Sooners this year, the loss to the Cowboys reminded us that glaring issues remain unaddressed, issues that will only be resolved by a change in direction of the program, which is best accomplished with a new CEO of the company.

So who are the viable replacements?  In truth, more than a few names are bandied about, but for the sake of cutting through the clutter, let us reduce that relatively lengthy list to a couple of already-mentioned names, plus one or two more than people have not mentioned or are reticent to for whatever reason.

I agree with Big(g) Ern at Barking Carnival.  New Texas athletics director Steve Patterson should at least ask Nick Saban and Urban Meyer if they are interested.  Neither are likely to be, given their current situations, but there is no harm in asking, and confirmed “no’s” from both men will put meaningless speculation from fans to rest once and for all, save for the most delusional of meatballs.

Besides, it is unlikely that Saban would leave Alabama for Texas, no matter how much money you offer him.  He is 62 years old, already has a palace of a house, and is not someone who uses all that money to buy expensive toys.  The reason being, he has no interest in expensive toys;  he’s a workaholic, and workaholics are driven by the job, not by toys.  Besides, he has built an almost-bulletproof dynasty at one of the most storied programs in all of college football; how does one top that?

So who could it be?  Let us start with the most obvious of names:

Mike Gundy:  This could work.  He’s one of those coaches who is highly effective if he has tons of resources at his disposal.  That might not be the most flattering of commentaries, but given that he has been back up with T. Boone Pickens’ money, he has managed to do great things at Oklahoma State.  Imagine what he could accomplish with the unlimited monetary back of Texas’ boosters?  If such possibilities stand to reason, it would be enough for us to divert our attention from his teenage-like hairline, despite being a man of 46.

Chris Petersen:  This also could work.  It is at this juncture that I part company with the thoughtful fellows at Barking Carnival.  They seem to think that because the luster of the Boise State program is fading, that Petersen himself is by consequence a less viable candidate for the position.  But the diminished national prestige of the program is not Petersen’s fault.  It is just that the Broncos’ stock has peaked in value.  Boise State has become a victim of its own success.  Given that Idaho is hardly hotbed for top-tier college talent, they have to look elsewhere (mostly California) for good players.  The highest-profile recruits in that region will usually choose USC, UCLA, Oregon or Arizona State over Boise State, so they have to devise a system to root out guys with enough talent to compete, but at the same time, find guys who are “tweeners” that are usually overlooked by the big boys.  Then, Boise State needs to  devise and offensive and defensive system that plays to the strengths of these “tweener” recruits.

At this, they have been remarkably successful until recently.  What has happened is that they have become a victim of their own success.  No team that is viable on a national scale wants to play Boise State anymore because they – the Broncos — could upset them, thus ruining a potential run at a national title.  Worse yet, there is little incentive to play Boise State in their home stadium, since the university has done nothing to expand the stadium’s capacity from its paltry 37,000 despite a solid 8 or 9-year run of success.  A good deal of the team’s recent success was at the hands of Chris Petersen, who would be wise to take a more prestigious job while he can before staying at BSU too long with cause his stock to irreparably dip.  Petersen has proven to be a very adept caretaker CEO, and the Texas program is not in shambles – yet.  Texas has good talent pieces in place, they just lack the coaching – and the A+ QB that would be becoming of such a program – to allow for the team to truly play up to its potential.

Who is a coach that has not been mentioned but has potential?  One name this is always possible – though few seem to want to admit it – Bobby Petrino.

Try not to laugh.  Yes, his, ahem, swordplay at Arkansas was a major black mark (or, er, scarlet letter) on his career and indeed, life, resume, but let that not obfuscate a simple fact.  The guy can coach.  He can also recruit, too.  Yes, much like Urban Meyer at Florida, his Louisville team bordered on an inmate colony, but part of his untouchable skill set was his ability to be a captain running a tightly-run ship, not allowing any sort of wiggle room for would-be thugs to run amok.  An advantage of recruiting in Texas, for Texas, is that he could bring in the highest-caliber of athletes in-state without have to run the degree of risk of bringing in potential off-the-field liabilities like he did at Louisville and at Arkansas.

But again, he can coach.  Few coaches in the business seem to have the keen sense of knowing when it is the right time to pass and when it is the right time to run the ball like Petrino.  Between his ability to acquire talent, manage personnel, and call plays makes him one of the most dangerous coaches in the business.  Placing him with the unlimited resources of the Texas Longhorns program could potentially create a juggernaut that would rival the current dynasty of the Alabama Crimson Tide.

Yes, he is currently in his first year at Western Kentucky, but he is also incredibly mercenary.  His loyalty does seem to go to the highest bidder, but by that same token, can anybody think of a better job than the Texas job?  College coaches around the country recognize it without hesitation as one of the three best jobs in the nation.  Translation:  assuming he A) were offered the Texas job, and B) took the Texas job, what could lure him away from it?  As smart as he is, he would surely have the sense to avoid the, er, swordplay that ended the good thing he had going at Arkansas.

So, in summation, Chris Petersen would be my second choice to replace Mack Brown at Texas, but Petrino would be my first.  The program is not exactly down the drain yet, so a turnaround CEO might not be needed, at least not yet.  If brought in soon enough, a good caretaker CEO could still bring the Horns to the level of performance fans rightfully expect.

Addendum, 12-06-13:  Chris Petersen, mentioned as a potential replacement for Mack Brown earlier in this article, has since taken the Washington Huskies job vacated by Steve Sarkisian.  The news was announced this morning.  In truth, he is a good fit for that program.  He loves the Pacific Northwest, has recruited in the Seattle area before, and is a good caretaker CEO.  Sarkisian already turned the Huskies around into a well-function, 9-win-a-year organization; Petersen can now come in and keep the good thing going, just as he did after Dan Hawkins left Boise State for Colorado.  In summation, this is a good hire for the Huskies.

College Football Week 9 Awards October 27, 2013

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(Note:  All rankings are current AP [week 9] unless otherwise noted.)

COACHES
Wish I were him: Mark Helfrich, Oregon

Glad I’m not him: Butch Jones, Tennessee

Lucky guy: Steve Spurrier, South Carolina

Poor guy: Gary Pinkel, Missouri

Desperately seeking a clue: Bobby Petrino, Western Kentucky
Desperately seeking a P.R. man: David Cutcliffe, Duke

Desperately seeking sunglasses and a fake beard: Bo Pelini, Nebraska

Desperately seeking … anything:  Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern

TEAMS
Thought you’d kick butt, you did: Oklahoma State (defeated Iowa State 58-27)
Thought you’d kick butt, you didn’t: Miami (defeated Wake Forest 24-21)

Thought you’d get your butt kicked, you did: Kansas (lost to Baylor 59-14)

Thought you’d get your butt kicked, you didn’t:  Duke (defeated Virginia Tech 13-10)

Thought you wouldn’t kick butt, you did:  Michigan State (defeated Illinois 42-3)

Should have kicked even more butt than you did:  Auburn (defeated Florida Atlantic 45-10)

Dang, they’re good: Oregon

Dang, they’re bad:  Illinois
Can’t Stand Prosperity: Missouri

Did the season start?  Boise State
Can the season end?  Northwestern

Can the season never endAlabama

GAMES
Play this again:  No. 20 South Carolina 27, No. 5 Missouri 24

Play this again, too:  Middle Tennessee State 51, Marshall 49 (Thurs.)

Never play this again: No. 23 UCF 62, UConn 17

What? Iowa 17, Northwestern 10

HuhNo. 20 South Carolina 27, No. 5 Missouri 24

Are you kidding me?  Duke 13, No. 14 Virginia Tech 10
Oh – my – GodMinnesota 34, No. 25 Nebraska 23

NEXT WEEK

(rankings are current AP (post-week 9, pre-week 10)
Ticket to die for:  No. 7 Miami @ No. 3 Florida State

Best non-Big Six vs. Big Six matchup: (only two such match-ups, and they are both horrible)

Best non-Big Six matchup: Rice @ North Texas

Upset alert: Tennessee @ No. 10 Missouri

Must win: No. 12 Oklahoma State @ No. 15 Texas Tech

Offensive explosion: Arizona State @ Washington State

Defensive struggle: No. 24 Michigan @ Michigan State

Great game no one is talking about: West Virginia @ TCU, also Georgia vs. Florida in Jacksonville, Fla.

Intriguing coaching matchup: Pat Fitzgerald of Northwestern vs. Bo Pelini of Nebraska

Who’s bringing the body bags? No. 4 Ohio State @ Purdue

Why are they playing? Alabama State @ Kentucky

Plenty of good seats remaining: Kent State @ Akron

They shoot horses, don’t they?  Hawaii @ Utah State, or, UTEP @ No. 14 Texas A&M

Week 9 Random Thoughts:

At this rate, Purdue vs. Illinois is shaping into one heckuva Big Ten “Toilet Bowl” come Nov. 23.  For the entire season up to this point, the Boilermakers were the undisputed leaders of suck in the B1G.  Yet despite being shut out on the road to Michigan State last week, they acquitted themselves rather well in that they allowed the Spartans to score only 14 points.  Contrast that with Illinois’ performance against MSU this week, where the Illini only managed a “sad field goal” – at home, no less — against the Spartans’ D, and on the other side of the coin, Sparty scored seven TD’s.  Perhaps Purdue is not the gutter team of the conference after all.

***********

Give Missouri credit:  being undefeated in only their second season as a member of the SEC up through seven games is a decent feat.  Knocking off two traditional powers in two consecutive games is the feat worthy of a traditional power.  That being said, both Georgia and Florida were severely weakened, albeit in different ways, when playing the Tigers.  It was only a matter of time for the magic to run out.  That time manifested itself in a surprising way.

The normal rule of thumb is that when a non-traditional power (Mizzou, in this case) upsets a traditional one (Florida, in this case), the non-traditional power always comes out flat in the following game.  Yet they did not come out flat against South Carolina.  If anything, the Gamecocks tried to give away the game to the Tigers in the first half.  But they did not give the whole game away, for they won the second half, sent the game into overtime, then ended up winning unexpectedly when Mizzou botched a field goal attempt that would have otherwise sent things into triple-OT.  Even Steve Spurrier himself recognized how lucky his team was to sneak out of Columbia, Mo., with a win.

Mark May of ESPN hit the proverbial nail on the head when he pointed out that the Ol’ Ball Coach out-coached Gary Pinkel in the fourth quarter.

***********

As outrageous and “out-there” as Oregon’s uniforms sometimes look, they looked their best all season in their belated rout of formidable UCLA.  Part of the reason is that they actually wore a substantial amount of green for once.

College Football Week 8 Awards October 20, 2013

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(Note:  All rankings are current AP [week 8] unless otherwise noted.)

COACHES
Wish I were him: Jimbo Fisher, Florida State

Glad I’m not him: Les Miles, LSU

Lucky guy: George O’Leary, Central Florida

Poor guy: Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M

Desperately seeking a clue: Charlie Strong, Louisville
Desperately seeking a P.R. man: Al Golden, Miami (Fla.)

Desperately seeking sunglasses and a fake beard: Dabo Swinney, Clemson

Desperately seeking … anything:  Mark Richt, Georgia

TEAMS
Thought you’d kick butt, you did: Baylor (defeated Iowa State 71-7)
Thought you’d kick butt, you didn’t: Miami (defeated North Carolina 27-23)

Thought you’d get your butt kicked, you did: Arkansas (lost to Alabama 52-0)

Thought you’d get your butt kicked, you didn’t:  Iowa (lost to Ohio State 34-24)

Thought you wouldn’t kick butt, you did:  Georgia Tech (defeated Syracuse 56-0)

Dang, they’re good: Florida State

Dang, they’re bad:  Southern Miss
Can’t Stand Prosperity:  Louisville

Did the season start?  Northwestern
Can the season end?  Georgia

Can the season never endMissouri

GAMES
Play this again:  No. 24 Auburn 45, No. 7 Texas A&M 41

Play this again, too:  BYU 47, Houston 46

Never play this again: Baylor 71, Iowa State 7

Forget about this one, too:  Georgia Tech 56, Syracuse 0

What? Central Florida 38, No. 8 Louisville 35

HuhNo. 24 Auburn 45, No. 7 Texas A&M 41

Are you kidding me?  Ole Miss 27, No. 6 LSU 24
Oh – my – GodNo. 5 Florida State 51, No. 3 Clemson 14

Told you so:  Tennessee 23, No. 11 South Carolina 21

NEXT WEEK

(rankings are current AP (post-week 8, pre-week 9)
Ticket to die for:  Tennessee @ No. 1 Alabama

Best non-Big Six vs. Big Six matchup: Pittsburgh @ Navy

Best non-Big Six matchup: Boise State @ BYU

Upset alert: Tennessee @ No. 1 Alabama

Must win: No. 20 South Carolina @ No. 5 Missouri

Offensive explosion: Boise State @ BYU (Friday)

Defensive struggle: Michigan State @ Illinois
Great game no one is talking about: Houston @ Rutgers

Intriguing coaching matchup: Gary Pinkel of Missouri vs. Steve Spurrier of South Carolina

Who’s bringing the body bags? Florida Atlantic @ No. 11 Auburn

Why are they playing? Furman @ No. 13 LSU

Plenty of good seats remaining: Western Michigan @ UMass

They shoot horses, don’t they?  No. 6 Baylor @ Kansas

Week 8 in Review:

Rarely is there a week when there are so many upsets, that it’s impossible to give all of them their just due.  Normally, four categories are enough, from “What?” to “Oh-My-God”.  Yet this time around, we needed several more categories, for the undefeateds and top-ten teams ended up dropping like flies.      To wit:  No. 7 Texas A&M fell to Auburn, No. 6 LSU fell to Ole Miss.  Stanford, after paying dearly for taking a game off and thus laying an egg against Utah, turned right around the following week and took out undefeated, then-No. 9 UCLA.  Do we have to remind ourselves of how then-No. 8 Louisville (now No. 18) basically gave the game away to now-No. 21 Central Florida? Say this out loud:  Missouri beat Florida.  In so doing, the reader is likely to ask oneself, “in what Twilight Zone or alternate football universe does that happen?”  Yet it did; what’s even more other-dimensionly is that Mizzou was actually ranked ahead of the Gators when they triumphed (No. 14 vs. No. 22, respectively).  The Tigers, still undefeated, are now ranked at No. 6.

Then there was the purported “ticket to die for” of the week, and on paper it certainly was that, what with then-No. 3 Clemson at home against then-No. 5 Florida State in a titanic intra-conference clash — on paper, at least.  The only problem was, the Seminoles showed up for battle, whereas the Tigers, apparently, not so much.  The ‘Noles asserted themselves from the opening kickoff to the final whistle of the game, and demolished the home team, 51-14, despite Clemson’s hitherto superior ranking.  Clemson head coach Dabo Swinney was hoping that the team could put an end to the concept of “Clemsoning”, (look up the second and third definitions of the term on Urban Dictionary), but after last night’s performance, that concept shall live on for a while longer.

Meanwhile, let us compare the heretofore Top Ten to today’s new rankings:

1.)     Alabama

2.)     Oregon

3.)     Clemson

4.)     Ohio State

5.)     Florida State

6.)     LSU

7.)     Texas A&M

8.)     Louisville

9.)     UCLA

10.)   Miami (Fla.)

Today (Oct. 20, 2013)

1.)    Alabama

2.)    Oregon

3.)    Florida State

4.)    Ohio State

5.)    Missouri

6.)    Baylor

7.)    Miami (Fla.)

8.)    Stanford

9.)    Clemson

10). Texas Tech

Curious to note:  Alabama and Oregon are still No’s 1 and 2 respectively.  So far, so good.  But Florida State, now at No. 3, leapfrogged over Ohio State, who is still at No. 4.  Mizzou, having beaten some formidable teams, has skyrocketed to No. 5, while Baylor sits at No. 6 (personally, I find the latter’s offense more potent than the former; were it only that the two could knock heads in a BCS game!).  Meanwhile, the Miami Hurricanes, laboring in the shadow of the NCAA’s Sword of Damocles, have quietly crept up to the No. 7 spot in a spectacular turnaround under Coach Al Golden’s leadership. Stanford is back in the top ten after defeating hitherto unbeaten UCLA, and Clemson remains in the top ten at No. 9 despite a thrashing at home against the Seminoles.  Tech rounds out the new top ten, and appropriately so, given that they’re currently unbeaten.  That current status, however, shall be seriously called into question the following week, though, as they shall play Oklahoma on the road, then Oklahoma State and Kansas State at home, then they face Baylor and cap things off against Texas.  The truly brutal part of the schedule is about to commence for the Red Raiders, hence they shall have the opportunity to prove their worthiness of their new ranking.  As LSU’s Charley McClendon said long ago, “[I]n football, and in life, you’ve got to keep proving yourself.

Oh, and don’t look now, but Auburn has climbed up to No. 11 from the No. 24 spot.

On a related note, two programs who were once esteemed as “football factories” but had something of a decade-long slump seem to have returned to that status this year; Florida State and, to a lesser extent, Tennessee.  The former demonstrated that convincingly before a national, prime time audience.  The latter demonstrated that over the course of the past three weeks by giving Georgia the fight of their lives on Oct. 5, then coming back to beat South Carolina yesterday.  No longer is playing the Vols a relative “gimme” on the SEC schedule as it was several years ago.  Everyone else in the conference ought to be put on notice.

College Football Week 6 Awards October 6, 2013

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(Note:  All rankings are current AP [week 6] unless otherwise noted.)

COACHES
Wish I were him: Urban Meyer, Ohio State

Glad I’m not him: James Franklin, Vanderbilt

Lucky guy: Mark Richt, Georgia, and also Mack Brown, Texas

Poor guy: Butch Jones, Tennessee, and also Paul Rhoads, Iowa State

Desperately seeking a clue: Mack Brown, Texas
Desperately seeking a P.R. man: Gary Pinkel, Missouri

Desperately seeking sunglasses and a fake beard: Dave Doeren, NC State

Desperately seeking … anything:  Larry Fedora, North Carolina

TEAMS
Thought you’d kick butt, you did: No. 20 Texas Tech (defeated Kansas 54-16)
Thought you’d kick butt, you didn’t: South Carolina (defeated Kentucky 35-28)

Thought you’d get your butt kicked, you did: Colorado (lost to Oregon 57-16)

Thought you’d get your butt kicked, you didn’t:  Troy (lost to Duke 38-31)

Thought you wouldn’t kick butt, you did:  Ohio U (defeated Akron 43-3)

Dang, they’re good: Florida State

Dang, they’re bad:  Akron
Can’t Stand Prosperity:  Arizona State

The Fix is in:  Texas

Did the season start?  Cincinnati
Can the season end?  Western Michigan
Can the season never endBaylor

GAMES
Play this again:  No. 6 Georgia 34, Tennessee 31

Play this again, too:  Rutgers 55, SMU 53, 3OT

Never play this again: No. 8 Florida State 63, No. 25 Maryland 0

What? Ball State 48, Virginia 27

HuhMissouri 51, Vanderbilt 28

Are you kidding me?  South Florida 26, Cincinnati 20
Oh – my – GodIndiana 44 Penn State 24

NEXT WEEK

(rankings are current AP (post-week 6, pre-week 7)
Ticket to die for:  Texas vs. No. 12 Oklahoma in the Red River Shootout (Dallas)

Best non-Big Six vs. Big Six matchup: Georgia Tech @ BYU

Best non-Big Six matchup: Boise State @ Utah State

Upset alert: No. 14 South Carolina @ Arkansas

Must win: No. 9 Texas A&M @ Ole Miss

Offensive explosion: No. 2 Oregon @ No. 15 Washington

Defensive struggle: Miami (Ohio) @ UMass
Great game no one is talking about: Pittsburgh @ No. 24 Virginia Tech, or, No. 19 Northwestern @ Wisconsin.

Intriguing coaching matchup: Steve Spurrier of South Carolina vs. Bret Bielema of Arkansas

Who’s bringing the body bags? No. 3 Clemson @ Boston College

Why are they playing? Western Carolina @ Auburn

Plenty of good seats remaining: Eastern Michigan @ Army

They shoot horses, don’t they?  Temple @ Cincinnati

Week 6 in Review:

There are times when in hindsight you know that you should have trusted your instincts instead of trying to out-think the room (which, let us be honest, can never end well.  Just ask the NFL when they decided to put the upcoming Super Bowl in frigid New Jersey).  Case in point:  last week, yours truly tried to out-think the room – against my own better judgement – in prediciting that this week’s “offensive explosion” would be Ohio State @ Northwestern.  Yes, it was a good game, worthy of a Musburger-Herbstreit broadcast tandem.  And yes, the overall score was not exactly paltry at 40-30 (in favor of the Buckeyes, naturally).  But then there was Baylor vs. West Virginia, whose score was so high, we needed our collective oxygen tank (final score:  73-42).  What was my main reticence in following my instincts and selecting this game for a more accurate prognostication?  The fact that West Virginia has been wildly inconsistent this year.  One week they embarrass themselves against Maryland, the next week, they upset Oklahoma State.  Right now, we the fans do not know what team we are getting week-to-week with the Mountaineers.

All Good Games at Night?

Aside from the satisfying SEC slugfest between Georgia and Tennessee in the 3:30 time slot, and the 3-OT shootout between Rutgers and SMU, all the good games this past week were in the evening.  LSU vs. Mississippi State (3 out of 4 quarters, at least), South Florida vs. Cincinnati (surprisingly), Ole Miss vs. Auburn, TCU vs. Oklahoma, Kentucky vs. South Carolina (the Gamecocks allowed for it to be a good game, regrettably), Notre Dame vs. Arizona State, Ohio State vs. Northwestern, Washington vs. Stanford, even Louisiana Tech vs. UTEP (!) all turned out to be competitive, engaging matchups.  It was one of those nights where you wished you had four or five flatscreens, all right next to each other, so as to enjoy as much simultaneous action as possible.

A Tale of Two Rivals.

Oklahoma did it the right way.  They played a highly respected TCU bunch in a close, hard-fought game, and triumphed in the end, 20-17.  There is a school of thought, not one without merit, that states that this is the perfect approach before throwing down the following week with a bitter rival.  To follow this line of logic, the Sooners are well-prepared for the Red River Shootout this upcoming week.

On the other side of the coin is Texas, who thought that they could beat up on Big XII lightweight Iowa State as a  tune-up.  As things turned out, they needed not one, but two scandalous calls by the referees to get their behinds out of some seriously hot water (basically, two “gift” calls of not recognizing fumbles as actual fumbles).  Let that sink in for a moment.

College Football Week 4 Awards September 22, 2013

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(Note:  All rankings are current AP [week 4] unless otherwise noted.)

COACHES
Wish I were him: David Shaw, Stanford

Glad I’m not him: Mark Dantonio, Michigan State

Lucky guy: Tim DeRuyter, Fresno State
Poor guy: Bronco Mendenhall, BYU

Desperately seeking a wake-up call: Brady Hoke, Michigan
Desperately seeking a P.R. man: Kyle Flood, Rutgers

Desperately seeking sunglasses and a fake beard: Dana Holgersen, West Virginia

Desperately seeking … anything:  P.J. Fleck, Western Michigan

TEAMS
Thought you’d kick butt, you did: No. 7 Louisville (defeated FIU 72-0)
Thought you’d kick butt, you didn’t: No. 11 Michigan (defeated UConn 24-21)
Thought you’d get your butt kicked, you did: Troy (lost to Mississippi State 62-7)

Thought you’d get your butt kicked, you didn’t:  Colorado State* (lost to No. 1 Alabama 31-6)

Thought you wouldn’t kick butt, you did:  Iowa (defeated Western Michigan 59-3)

Dang, they’re good: Stanford
Dang, they’re bad:  Western Michigan
Can’t Stand Prosperity:  Arkansas

Did the season start?  Michigan State
Can the season end?  Central Michigan
Can the season never endUCLA

GAMES
Play this again:  Fresno State 41, Boise State 40

Play this again, too:  Pittsburgh 58, Duke 55
Never play this again: No. 4 Ohio State 76, Florida A&M 0

What? Iowa 59, Western Michigan 3

HuhFresno State 41, Boise State 40

Are you kidding me?  Texas 31, Kansas State 21
Oh – my – GodMaryland 37, West Virginia 0

NEXT WEEK

(rankings are current AP (post-week 3, pre-week 4)
Ticket to die for:  No. 6 LSU @ No. 9 Georgia

Best non-Big Six vs. Big Six matchup: Northern Illinois @ Purdue

Best non-Big Six matchup: Navy @ Western Kentucky (honorable mention:  Akron @ Bowling Green)

Upset alert: No. 23 Wisconsin @ No. 4 Ohio State, or, No. 12 South Carolina @ Central Florida

Must win: No. 10 Texas A&M @ Arkansas

Offensive explosion: Arizona @ No. 16 Washington

Defensive struggle: MTSU @ BYU
Great game no one is talking about: Virginia Tech @ Georgia Tech (Thurs.)

Intriguing coaching matchup: Ken Niumatalolo of Navy vs. Bobby Petrino of Western Kentucky

Who’s bringing the body bags? South Florida @ No. 15 Miami

Why are they playing? South Alabama @ Tennessee

Plenty of good seats remaining: Kent State @ Western Michigan

They shoot horses, don’t they?  Troy @ Duke

Week 4 in Review:

*:  This was the “body bag” game that did not quite turn out to be one.  On paper, Colorado State was to be the lamb being led to the slaughter.  After all, the fortunes of the Rams have been nothing like the halcyon days under former head coach Sonny Lubick.  Moreover, in a week where every other game seemed to be a body bag game, this one should have been no different.  Consider an under-performing Mountain West Conference team journeying over a thousand miles from Fort Collins, Colo., to Tuscaloosa, Ala., only to go into one of the most hostile places in the land in which to play football, with none other than Nick Saban, arguably the best coach in the business, to be the pitiless executioner.

All things considered, the 31-6 loss could have been much worse.  The Rams actually did a good job of gaining yardage against the Crimson Tide.  The only problem was, the bulk of that yardage was between the 20 yard-lines.  Once Colorado State made it into the red zone, Alabama started to show more of its true defensive colors, as the score attests.  Still, head coach Jim McElwain – coincidentally, the former offensive coordinator at Alabama – came in with a sound game plan, and that was to keep his team’s offense on the field for as long as possible, and conversely, to keep Alabama’s offense off the field as long as possible.  They took plenty of risks – including lots of screen passes – in order to try to make that happen.  One thing that was particularly telling of some degree of success in the overall game plan, despite the loss, was that Saban kept his headset on and kept coaching his team literally as the final second of the fourth quarter ticked off the clock.  One normally does not see that sort of behavior from a coach – no matter how skilled they are in the business – during a so-called “body bag” game.

But this game aside, even some of the better matches on paper (say, Tennessee at Florida, or Michigan State at Notre Dame) turned out to be exercises in ineptitude on both sides of the ball. Even Purdue, who acquitted themselves well against Notre Dame last week, came out flat against Wisconsin this week.

Speaking of “body bag” games, though, this weekend was lousy with them.  Records have become so important in terms of one’s BCS standings, that teams have largely become risk-averse, and since most conferences do not mandate that at least nine conference games be scheduled (notwithstanding the Big XII and Pac-12), we the fans had to suffer through lots of garbage matchups (hello, Florida A&M @ Ohio State) this past week.  Next week will thankfully be different, though, as most teams have some sort of conference game, and even those that do not still [mostly] have some interesting opponent to play (e.g., Northern Illinois at Purdue, South Carolina at an up-and-coming UCF, Oklahoma at Notre Dame, and Navy at Western Kentucky).  The bottom line is, let us blot this past week out of our memories, and just look forward to that which is immediately ahead.

College Football Week 3 Awards September 15, 2013

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(Note:  All rankings are current AP [week 3] unless otherwise noted.)

COACHES
Wish I were him: Mark Helfrich, Oregon

Glad I’m not him: Gary Patterson, TCU

Lucky guy: Todd Graham, Arizona State
Poor guy: Gary Andersen, Wisconsin
Desperately seeking a wake-up call: Charlie Strong, Louisville
Desperately seeking a P.R. man: George O’Leary, Central Florida

Desperately seeking sunglasses and a fake beard: Ron Turner, Florida International
Desperately seeking … anything:  Willie Taggert, South Florida

TEAMS
Thought you’d kick butt, you did: No. 10 Florida State (defeated Nevada 62-7)
Thought you’d kick butt, you didn’t: No. 11 Michigan (defeated Akron 28-24)
Thought you’d get your butt kicked, you did: Tennessee (lost to No. 2 Oregon 59-14)

Thought you’d get your butt kicked, you didn’t:  Purdue (lost to No. 21 Notre Dame 31-24)

Thought you wouldn’t kick butt, you did:  USC (defeated Boston College 35-7)

Dang, they’re good: Oregon
Dang, they’re bad:  Florida International
Can’t Stand Prosperity:  Penn State

Did the season start?  Texas
Can the season end?  South Florida
Can the season never endOle Miss

GAMES
Play this again:  No. 1 Alabama 49, No. 6 Texas A&M 42

Play this again, too:  Oregon State 51, Utah 48
Never play this again: Utah State 70, Weber 6

What? Arizona State 32, No. 20 Wisconsin 30

HuhSouth Alabama 31, Western Kentucky 24
Are you kidding me?  Texas Tech 20, No. 24 TCU 10
Oh – my – GodCentral Florida 34, Penn State 31

NEXT WEEK

(rankings are current AP (post-week 3, pre-week 4)
Ticket to die for:  Tennessee @ No. 19 Florida

Best non-Big Six vs. Big Six matchup: Utah State @ USC

Best non-Big Six matchup: Boise State @ Fresno State

Upset alert: Purdue @ No. 24 Wisconsin

Must win: Kansas State @ Texas

Offensive explosion: Boise State @ Fresno State
Defensive struggle: Hawaii @ Nevada
Great game no one is talking about: Utah @ BYU, or, North Carolina @ Georgia Tech

Intriguing coaching matchup: Mark Dantonio of Michigan State vs. Brian Kelly of No. 22 Notre Dame

Who’s bringing the body bags? Florida International @ No. 7 Louisville

Why are they playing? Florida A&M @ No. 4 Ohio State

Plenty of good seats remaining: UTSA @ UTEP

They shoot horses, don’t they?  Louisiana-Monroe @ No. 20 Baylor

Week 3 in Review:

The game that has been billed by the media and built up in the minds of many a fan nationwide certainly lived up to its billing/hype yesterday.  No. 1-ranked Alabama is sure to retain atop the mountain of college football rankings after defeating the home team No. 6 Texas A&M in a thriller of a game.  The key to the success of the Crimson Tide was figuring out how to contain the Aggies’ QB Johnny Manziel, by not allowing him sufficient access to the outsides of the hash marks and instead forcing him inside, up the middle (both of running and throwing) as a means of containing the threat of his talents.  In the end, it worked.  Best of all, “Johnny Football” seemed surprisingly humble, contrite, and team-oriented during the postgame press conference. After witnessing all of his antics the previous weeks, this was a rather pleasing development. Time will tell if he truly did learn a lesson or two from this loss, or whether he will devolve back to the cocky, reckless punk he was earlier.

Other random thoughts:

A curious case of both Michigan and Notre Dame arose this past Saturday.  The former team had to struggle at home to beat the Akron Zips, and only doing so in the last minutes of play.  Meanwhile, Notre Dame, an ostensibly revitalized, nationally viable team under head coach Brian Kelly, had to earn – in every sense of the word – a win against a Purdue team whose performance prior to this game was suspect at best.  Perhaps this strange case is a result of a hangover from big game between the two the following week.  Lots of media hype and team energy went into that game, and as anybody who has any real experience in college football can tell you, one of the biggest challenges in the sport is trying to get 19-20 year-olds to play consistently week in and week out.  Or, it could be at both Akron and Purdue are better than we thought they were.  Concerning the latter, it could have been that the Boilers were looking past Indiana State (could you blame them?) and devoted some extra prep time to dealing with the Fighting Irish.  Certainly a plausible scenario, no?  What remains intriguing about this case is that, in all likelihood, Michigan and Notre Dame will be just fine.  But it could also be that Akron and Purdue are on the rise from the doldrums in which both programs have been stuck for the past several years.  Time will tell.

Meanwhile, Texas lost another game, this time at home, against a respectable opponent in Ole Miss. The Longhorns were supposed to have gotten things together, so we were told. After all, before last week’s BYU debacle (in which they lost 40-21), they were ranked No. 15 in the nation.  This week, the Rebels came into Austin ranked #25.  Yet the Horns lost again, this time 44-23.  It is conceivable that Texas could turn things around and that the defense could get more settled under new defensive coordinator Greg Robinson.  Or, it could be that the wheels are coming off the program, and as much as Longhorn Nation likes head coach Mack Brown personally, it is time for a changing of the guard.  Right now, though, things are not looking good on the 40 Acres, and the prognosis for the second Saturday in October is not that rosy, either.

College Football Week 2 Awards 2013 September 9, 2013

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(Note:  All rankings are current AP [week 2] unless otherwise noted.)

COACHES
Wish I were him: Brady Hoke, Michigan

Glad I’m not him: Tommy Tuberville, Cincinnati
Lucky guy: Mike Leach, Washington State
Poor guy: Lane Kiffin, USC
Desperately seeking a wake-up call: Kevin Wilson, Indiana
Desperately seeking a P.R. man: Dave Clawson, Bowling Green

Desperately seeking sunglasses and a fake beard: Mack Brown, Texas
Desperately seeking … anything:  Ron Turner, Florida International

TEAMS
Thought you’d kick butt, you did: No. 23 Baylor (defeated Buffalo 70-13)
Thought you’d kick butt, you didn’t: Michigan State (defeated South Florida 21-6)
Thought you’d get your butt kicked, you did: Virginia (lost to Oregon 59-10)

Thought you’d get your butt kicked, you didn’t:  South Florida (lost to Michigan State 21-6)
Thought you wouldn’t kick butt, you did:  Kentucky (defeated Miami (OH, 41-7)

Dang, they’re good: Oregon
Sir Charles says “They’re Turrable”:  Buffalo
Can’t Stand Prosperity:  Texas

Did the season start?  Florida
Can the season end?  San Diego State
Can the season never endMichigan

GAMES
Play this again:  No. 11 Georgia 41, No. 6 South Carolina 30

Play this again, too:  No. 17 Michigan 41, No. 11 Notre Dame 30
Never play this again: Boise St. 63, Tennessee-Martin 14

What? Illinois 45, Cincinnati 16

HuhMiami (FL) 21, No. 12 Florida 16
Are you kidding me?  Navy 41, Indiana 35
Oh – my – GodBYU 40, No. 15 Texas 21

NEXT WEEK

(rankings are current AP (post-week 2, pre-week 3)
Ticket to die for:  No. 1 Alabama @ No. 6 Texas A&M

Best non-Big Six vs. Big Six matchup: Virginia Tech @ East Carolina
Best non-Big Six matchup: Marshall @ Ohio U

Upset alert: No. 25 Ole Miss @ Texas

Must win: Vanderbilt @ No. 13 South Carolina

Offensive explosion: Fresno State @ Colorado
Defensive struggle: Iowa @ Iowa State
Great game no one is talking about: No. 16 UCLA @ No. 23 Nebraska

Intriguing coaching matchup: Gary Patterson of No. 24 TCU vs. Kliff Kingsbury of Texas Tech

Who’s bringing the body bags? No. 21 Notre Dame @ Purdue

Why are they playing? Lamar @ No. 12 Oklahoma State

Plenty of good seats remaining: Florida Atlantic @ South Florida

They shoot horses, don’t they?  Nicholls @ Louisiana-Lafayette

Week 2 in Review:

Two really good games followed each other consecutively in South Carolina @ Georgia followed by Notre Dame @ Michigan.  In the case of the former, the Gamecocks’ season is not lost by losing to a tough Bulldogs squad who had their collective backs against the wall after blowing the season opener on the road to perhaps the best Clemson team that school’s history.  Conversely, had Georgia lost two games in a row to start off their season, no matter if they won out for the remaining weeks, the season, by team’s and fans’ standard would have been clearly lost.

In the case of the latter, some degree of poetic justice was achieved in the Wolverine’s victory over the Fighting Irish.  It is understandable why Notre Dame saw fit not to renew the rivalry on their schedule, what with trying to broaden their geographic outreach into the recruiting hotbeds, which, to remind certain fanbases, are NOT in the Midwest anymore (Ohio notwithstanding, to an extent, but Ohio State owns that anyhow, and should). But that does not obfuscate the other understandable situation where the Michigan fanbase feels snubbed by a team that still acts as though it is “above it all.”  Did I say “poetic justice”?  How about vindication?

Meanwhile, going forward, it is worth pointing out that when it comes to the prognostications for the upcoming week, the two most difficult things to predict are the offensive explosion and the defensive struggle.  The Michigan-Notre Dame game certainly did not live up to the latter billing (41-30); neither did the West Virginia-Oklahoma game (16-7).  One should have reversed those two games into opposite categories, and then we would have had something (in 20-20 hindsight, at least)!

Oh, and the latest news has it that Texas’ defensive coordinator Manny Diaz has taken the fall for the Longhorns’ ignominious loss to unranked BYU.  The Horns gave up a school record 550 rushing yards on defense.  This means that even though Texas had some very bad teams in the 1980s and some of the 1990s, even they did not give up that much yardage on the ground in a game.  Something obviously had to be done.  Mack Brown has appointed Greg Robinson (former Syracuse head coach – one of those guys who is better as a vice president than as a chief executive) as the new defensive coordinator, a role that he actually already served in for the team in 2004 (that same team that came back to beat Michigan in the Rose Bowl).  On paper, it is a good hire; time will tell if what is on paper will manifest in reality.  But regardless, it’s still a step up from the inept display the Longhorn Nation had to endure yesterday.

College Football Week 1 Awards 2013 September 4, 2013

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That special time of year has come yet again, when college football teams all throughout the land knock heads to see who is the best.  Moreover, now that the first week of college football has past, it is now time to give out the first weekly awards for the year!

(NOTE:  all rankings are Week 1 AP up to “Next Week”, in which case they are for Week 2)

COACHES
Wish I were him: Dabo Swinney, Clemson 

Glad I’m not him: Mark Richt, Georgia
Lucky guy: Hugh Freeze, Ole Miss
Poor guy: James Franklin, Vanderbilt
Desperately seeking a wake-up call: Bill Snyder, Kansas State
Desperately seeking a P.R. man: Kevin Wilson, Indiana

Desperately seeking sunglasses and a fake beard: Mike Riley, Oregon State
Desperately seeking … anything:  Rocky Long, San Diego State

TEAMS
Thought you’d kick butt, you did: No. 3 Oregon (beat Nicholls State 66-3)
Thought you’d kick butt, you didn’t: No. 18 Nebraska (beat Wyoming 37-34)
Thought you’d get your butt kicked, you did:  Purdue (lost to Cincinnati 42-7)

Thought you’d get your butt kicked, you didn’t:  North Carolina (lost to South Carolina 27-10)
Thought you wouldn’t kick butt, you did:  Indiana 73, Indiana State 35

Dang, they’re good: Alabama
Sir Charles says “They’re Turrable”:  San Diego State
Can’t Stand Prosperity:  Georgia

Did the season start?  BYU
Can the season end?  Iowa State
Can the season never endClemson

GAMES
Play this again:  No. 8 Clemson 38, No. 5 Georgia 35

Play this again, too:  Ole Miss 39, Vanderbilt 35
Never play this again: Indiana 73, Indiana State 35
What? McNeese State 53, South Florida 21
HuhEastern Illinois 49, San Diego State 17
Are you kidding me? North Dakota State 24, Kansas State 21
Oh – my – GodEastern Washington 49, No. 25 Oregon State 46
Told you so:  Western Kentucky 35, Kentucky 26

NEXT WEEK
Ticket to die for:  No. 6 South Carolina @ No. 11 Georgia
Best non-Big Six vs. Big Six matchup: Toledo @ Missouri
Best non-Big Six matchup: Idaho @ Wyoming, or Utah State @ Air Force

Upset alert: No. 14 Notre Dame @ No. 17 Michigan

Must win: Miami (OH) @ Kentucky
Offensive explosion: West Virginia @ No. 16 Oklahoma
Defensive struggle: No. 14 Notre Dame @ No. 17 Michigan
Great game no one is talking about: Syracuse @ No. 22 Northwestern

Intriguing coaching matchup:  Bobby Petrino of Western Kentucky vs. Butch Jones of Tennessee

Who’s bringing the body bags? San Diego State @ No. 2 Ohio State

Why are they playing?  Tennessee-Martin @ Boise State

Plenty of good seats remaining: South Alabama @ Tulane

They shoot horses, don’t they?  Buffalo @ Baylor

The First Week in Review:

The previous week’s “Ticket to Die For” was obviously the Georgia-Clemson game, and it lived up to its billing, remaining close and hard-fought for all four quarters.  Georgia fans do themselves and their team a disservice, however, by lamenting that their season is now in the tank and that it is time to jettison head coach Mark Richt.  Let us keep in mind that Clemson right now is on fire, and has their best offense in roughly 30 years if not the whole history of the school.  The Bulldogs losing to such a team at that moment is no disgrace.

That said, there’s no rest for the wicked regarding Georgia, for now their hated cross-border rival South Carolina comes to Sanford Stadium this next weekend.  The Bulldogs might be in danger of starting the season 0-2, which which really send the UGA faithful into a panic.

Meanwhile, Alabama is such a good team, that even with several offensive miscues throughout the game, they still handily defeated a respectable Virginia Tech squad 35-10.  Still, it was a rough week for the SEC.  As somewhat prognosticated, Washington State did give Auburn plenty to deal with in their rather narrow loss at Jordan-Hare Stadium.  Georgia’s rather heartbreaking loss in Clemson was already noted.  Kentucky lost much worse than what the score (35-26) to Western Kentucky in Nashville, Tenn.  Yes, I know that the last game mentioned is an outlier in that A, this is Kentucky we’re talking about here, not, say, LSU, South Carolina, Florida, Alabama, or even Auburn or Arkansas.  On the other side of the coin, Western Kentucky is no ordinary Sunbelt Conference team, either, as they are coached by Bobby Petrino, likely giving the Hilltoppers a decisive edge over the rest of their conference competition, or even chronic SEC cellar-dwellers for that matter.

One thing that particularly sticks out about the past week, though, was the resounding success that FCS teams had over FBS teams.  Time was — very recently — that when D-1A (pardon me, FBS) teams scheduled D-1AA (pardon me, FCS) teams for a game, it was an easy win for the former, and the latter got a relatively hefty paycheck (by their standards) to take a drubbing.  Not anymore.  Southern Utah beat South Alabama 22-21; Towson defeated UConn 33-18; North Dakota State upset Kansas State 24-21; Eastern Washington also upset Oregon State, 49-46; McNeese State thrashed South Florida, 53-21; Eastern Illinois did the drubbing on San Diego State, 40-19; if that’s not enough, Northern Iowa also beat Iowa State, 28-20.  To be sure, most of the aforementioned FCS teams (Towson, E. Washington, E. Illinois, and N. Iowa) are ranked, whereas most of their defeated FBS counterparts are, well, sucking (yet it still does not account for K-State’s or Oregon State ignominious losses).  Still, this is a powerful wake-up call that FBS vs. FCS are no longer gimme-games for the former.  We’ve been warned.

You too can put together a Top 25 CFB preseason poll! February 17, 2013

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Ever wanted to make a college football Top-25 preseason ranking but just didn’t know how?  Well, now you do!  Thanks to the hilarious writers at SBNation’s Every Day Should Be Saturday, we now have a guide at our disposal to put such a list together and look like prognostication geniuses in so doing!  I have taken the liberty of quoting the guiding text to give you reference while we play along.  The quoted text from the actual (and funny) guide page is given in italics.

1. Alabama. Look, maybe you have a perfectly strong case for some other school, but if you go off the reservation right away, the readers are going to suspect something is amiss. Stay with the pack here and, if the Tide stumble, you’ll be one of many mistaken scribes, not a distinct and lonesome idiot.

Alabama looks and sounds like a winner to me!

2. Big 12 or Big Ten team. BOOM! Because you started comfortable, those stupid readers didn’t see this knowledge roundhouse coming. Pick a team that didn’t meet expectations in 2012 and talk about how they’ll be “hungry” and “focused” because of it.

Michigan, perhaps?

3. SEC team. Mention how battle tested playing in the conference will leave this team by the end of the season. Then hedge by saying SEC play could eat them alive. SPORTSNIGMA!

Texas A&M; they’re really hot right now.  Seriously, so much for them having to get behind Arkansas like we all predicted last year!

4. Ohio State. Emphasize how good the team looked in the first year of a new system. Ignore that they barely beat Cal, Indiana, and Purdue. Clunky suggestion that Braxton Miller could be the next Tim Tebow. Obliquely suggest Urban Meyer could quit at any week for any reason.

Ohio State, and this is why I didn’t put them at the No. 2 spot like I would have otherwise.

5. Oregon or Stanford. Sh-t, you meant to put one of them higher, but that much backspacing seems like a real pain in the ass. Say something here about how you’re being cautious not to put too much stock into a big bowl performance.

Stanford, for reasons of coaching continuity.

6. Team Coming Off A Big Bowl Performance. Clemson-Louisville national championship game ahoy!

Okay, I’ll bite.  What the heck; let’s put Louisville in there for the fun of it!

7. SEC team. Which one? Any one THAT’S JUST HOW DAMN GOOD THEY ARE MAN. (Seriously, though, not Auburn.)

Seriously; definitely not Auburn!  Already put Texas A&M in there, so let’s have LSU fill this slot, shall we?  Or maybe South Carolina; yeah, definitely the Gamecocks.  They’re doing quite well right now.

8. Notre Dame. Yes, Irish fans are going to be super pissed at the perceived disrespect, but that’d be true even if you ranked ND numbers one, two, and three simultaneously. Don’t fight a losing battle. Just slot them here and suggest that they could be better off without Manti Te’o.

Notre Dame; and they might not miss Manti Te’o that much if their highly-ranked recruiting class has any teeth to it, unlike “highly-ranked” recruiting classes under Charlie Weis.

9. Oregon or Stanford (whoever you didn’t put at 5). Say something about how they’ve lost a lot of key pieces. Is it true? Players graduate, don’t they?

Oregon, for reasons of lack of coaching continuity.

10. ACC team. You’ll need to construct a paper fortune teller and write the names of four plausibly successful teams twice each. Be sure you only do it twice, because if you write out “Georgia Tech” three times on the same piece of paper Paul Johnson appears out of nowhere and insists on rearranging your pantry.

Well, we already put Louisville at No. 6, so we might as well put Florida State into this one.

11. Team that will likely have three losses before Halloween. Your obligation in preparing this ranking is not simply to come up with a sensible accounting of the top 25 teams heading into the season. It’s also to provide us with teams destined to leave unreasonable expectations unfulfilled. Who will be this year’s Arkansas? THE POWER IS YOURS!

Ole Miss, because expectations are high due to their half-way decent team from last year and No. 7-ranked recruiting class this year.

12. Team with the highest ranked recruiting class that you have not yet included. I mean, all that talent wouldn’t be going to a bad team, would it? And I bet half of them start right away! (note: I do not know how recruiting works)

I want to put Florida here, because they’ve got the No. 4-ranked recruiting class, and I’ve got to stick ‘em somewhere!  But, skip down to No 14, and you’ll find out that cannot be done, according to this system.  So, we’ll put in Oklahoma.

13. This is exhausting. You really deserve a lemonade, and maybe even an oatmeal cookie. I mean, people bitch about preseason rankings, but then they lap them right up like hungry dogs. Do they not understand how market forces work? Oh, um, Michigan State. Whatever.

Georgia;  gotta stick ‘em somewhere.

14. Florida. “Will Muschamp is driving a truck with a great engine and no brake pads. Will Muschamp is eating a sandwich with meat and no bread. Will Muschamp is developing a model that explains how light behaves like a particle but not as a wave.” Metaphor them to death in this middle section.

Okay, NOW we’re allowed to put Florida in there.

15. School that was good six years ago and has stunk since. Because these things are cyclical, or something.

USC, anybody?

16. Team stocked with seniors that have mostly underachieved up to this point. They just want it more, man. That’s why they’re fighting in spring practice. Out of love.

Michigan State, perhaps?

17. Big 12 team with a miserably weak non conference schedule. Basically, this is between Texas Tech, West Virginia, Kansas, and Kansas State. Kansas is out for reasons of being Kansas, so just pick one of the other three and feel like a genius up to, but not beyond, Week 5.

West Virginia is the safest pick out of the three, at least through Week 5.  After Week 5, it might be Texas Tech.  Just sayin’.

18. Big East team. Start out by noting that the conference had a better bowl winning percentage last year than the every other AQ conference. Pretend you knew that Memphis was joining this year without looking. Realize that the team you pick could join the ACC before this gets published. Shrug, and continue trying to beat Jetpack Joyride.

Cincinnati, because after U of L, UC is the only Big East team that comes to mind, and goodness knows what could happen with Tommy Tuberville at the helm.

19. Team that was terrible but hired a trendy coach. You’ve already won me over, Cal, in spite of me.

Okay, let’s go with Cal.  Let me waste another space on something ridiculous, why don’t you!

20. School from a non AQ conference. Again, this is mostly an exercise in antagonizing fans, so just find a Mountain West or MAC team that could plausibly win eight games and put them here. Then say something snide about the Big Ten.

Ah, so THIS is where you put in Boise State!

21. Scandium. Don’t think it belongs here? Check your atomic numbers, clown.

Okay, now they’re being downright silly.  Not funny, just silly.  Let’s go with LSU.

22. Team with a coach on the hot seat. If you’re not sure who qualifies, just pick any coach that hasn’t won a conference title in the last two years and say he’s on the hot seat.

Texas, because even though I love Mack Brown as a person, he ought to be on the hot seat after three consecutive seasons of underperformance.

23. Almost there! Pick any team, say this is a make-or-break season for the program, and move forward.

Auburn, because after the horrible year they had last season, we’ll now see how quickly they can bounce back.

24. Duke.

Are you kidding me?  Alright, we’ll play along for the funny hell of it.

25. Team that barely made a bowl last year. “Trial by fire has made them stronger” sounds way more optimistic than “holy sh– they needed a punt return touchdown to beat Sweet Valley High.”

Heck, Purdue barely made it to a bowl game last year, but I’m certainly not putting them at No. 25!  I’d put somebody like Nebraska in there, but I don’t know if it fits the template.  Screw it; I’ll put Nebraska in anyway.

Now, let us see how this ranking plays out, according to the above formula:

  1. Alabama
  2. Michigan
  3. Texas A&M
  4. Ohio State
  5. Stanford
  6. Louisville
  7. South Carolina
  8. Notre Dame
  9. Oregon
  10. Florida State
  11. Ole Miss
  12. Oklahoma
  13. Georgia
  14. Florida
  15. USC
  16. Michigan State
  17. West Virginia
  18. Cincinnati
  19. Cal
  20. Boise State
  21. LSU
  22. Texas
  23. Auburn
  24. Duke (groan!)
  25. Nebraska

I know, I know; LSU is ranked way too low, and it bothers the heck out of me, too.  Just for fun, let us compare this with the current 2013 AP preseason Top 25 poll:

  1. Alabama (no surprise there!)
  2. Oregon
  3. Ohio State
  4. Notre Dame
  5. Texas A&M
  6. Georgia
  7. Stanford
  8. South Carolina
  9. Florida
  10. Florida State
  11. Clemson
  12. Kansas State
  13. Louisville
  14. LSU  (beats not being ranked at all!)
  15. Oklahoma (I knew they were overvalued!)
  16. Utah State (there had better be a darn good reason for this!)
  17. Northwestern (quite plausible, actually)
  18. Boise State (are you sure you want them that high, AP?)
  19. Texas
  20. Oregon State
  21. San Jose State (huh?)
  22. Northern Illinois (I guess they felt compelled to stick a MAC team somewhere)
  23. Vanderbilt (also plausible; have you seen their recruiting class lately?)
  24. Michigan
  25. Nebraska

For starters, I’m really regretting sticking Michigan in that No. 2 slot, but the formula called for a Big Ten team, and Ohio State was already locked in to No. 4; what was I to do?  The Florida State ranking, though, seems pretty spot-on, and many others (Alabama, Ohio State, Texas A&M, Stanford, South Carolina, and Nebraska are within one or two rankings).  Yes, it’s all in fun and jest, to be sure, but it shows that sometimes these whacky formulas work, other times, not so much.  And it still sticks in my craw that it compelled me to under-value the Bayou Bengals, and grossly over-value Michigan.

Some thoughts on the Bowls as of Dec. 28 December 29, 2012

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From azstarnet.com; try to ignore the Arizona player bumping into the ref and instead, focus on how cool their unis look, along the with the awesome color contrast between Arizona’s and Nevada’s helmets!

The New Mexico Bowl kicked off the season to a surprisingly auspicious beginning.  I say “surprisingly,” because let’s be honest; nobody thought that the first bowl game of the year would be that swell, and moreover,  it seemed as though Nevada had the game well in hand by the end of the 3rd quarter before Arizona managed to make a pretty good game out of things yet and scored 18 unanswered points to pull ahead at the end, 49-48.  And to think that I predicted that the Holiday Bowl on Dec. 27 would be the bowl season’s “offensive explosion,” yet so far, the results of the New Mexico Bowl have fit that distinction more than any other of the 2012-2013 bowl span.

But wait, there’s more!  As more teams unveil special bowl game helmets (read: Cincinnati, Virginia Tech), the jury will still be out until Jan. 7 to decide this ultimately, but thus far, the Arizona-Nevada matchup is definitely the “most aesthetically pleasing helmet contrast,” with the Wolfpack sporting their dark blue helmets on one side, and the Wildcats sporting their special red domes on the other!

Moreover, it will be very difficult for any other team to top the Wildcats for the “sartorial splendor” award, as they have set a new precedent.  Normally, if a team has dark blue and red for their colors (technically, Cardinal and Navy Blue, as is the case for both Arizona and Ole Miss), the modern precedents have been something along the lines of 1) dark blue helmets, dark blue jerseys, and either white or gray pants, or white helmets, or 2) white helmets and pants with dark blue jerseys, or 3), dark blue helmets, red jerseys, and white or gray pants.  What Arizona did was break through normal precedents and set a whole new one with red helmets, dark blue jerseys, and red pants.  It does not get much better than that!

Kirby Lee, USA TODAY Sports

Kirby Lee, USA TODAY Sports

Speaking of good games, this year’s MAACO Bowl of Las Vegas turned out to be a ‘dandy’ of a game, folks!  There are times when you swear that ESPN does actually have a crystal ball in some secret location on their Bristol, Conn., campus, because they sent their front-line crew of Brent Musburger and Kirk Herbstreit to call the game, reflecting on the fact in real time that it was worth tuning in to see!  Either that, or it was an elaborate rouse to get Musburger in touch with Chan Lo and the Chinese Triads to settle his gambling debts:  who knows?  That having been said, what on Earth was Boise State doing wearing those god-awful matte black helmets instead of their pretty metallic blue domes?  Sometimes it pays to leave well enough alone; such is what Washington did with their tasteful combination of metallic gold helms, white jerseys and purple pants.

A-WLvUxCQAEkjOO.jpg large

Of all places, this pic came from Bengals.com!

The Belk Bowl also exceeded expectations in terms of a competitive, watchable game.  Only two things overshadowed Duke’s first bowl game since the mid-1990s:  1), Cincinnati’s garish, red, carbon fibre-colored helmets, a first in football helmet decor, and 2), the Bearcats ultimately won.  Still, it was nice that the Blue Devils wore their tasteful royal blue helmets instead of their generic-looking white ones, which overall made for a nice helmet contrast between the two teams as they played each other in Charlotte.  Moreover, keep in mind that the Bearcats pulled off the win with basically a five-man coaching staff (for purposes of comparison, college teams usually have about 10 coaches on staff, not including graduate assistants).

Another very interesting teams’ helmets contrast took place on Dec. 28 in the Russell Athletic Bowl, formerly the Champs Sports Bowl, formerly the reincarnated Tangerine Bowl (basically, the other bowl game they play in the Citrus Bowl before the real Citrus Bowl game, which is now called the Capital One Bowl.  Got all that?).  Rutgers put up one heckuva fight against Virginia Tech, but came up a field goal short in overtime of tying the Hokies after the first round in overtime.  But the contrast was nevertheless unique in that the Scarlet Knights had their newly characteristic chrome shells, while the Hokies sported new, matte maroon helmets with an orange decal of a “Hokie,” which, from what us fans can deduce, is basically a turkey bird on a roid rage.  Virginia Tech has undertaken numerous helmet styling experiments during the 2012 season, some kind of interesting, some downright head-scratching.  The white helmets with turkey feet clearly belonged in the latter category!

Oh, and the guys at EDSBS, you boys have some ‘splainin’ to do!  You ranked the Meinecke Car Care Bowl of Texas last among your list of the 35 bowls for this season.  In the words of Musburger, the game turned out to be a real ‘dandy.’  Thanks to the realignment of bowls, this Texas Bowl is about the only B1G vs Big XII matchup we have to look forward to, as the Alamo Bowl no longer affords us that luxury.  The game did not disappoint, as Minnesota and Texas Tech butted heads in dramatic form practically from the whistle giving the green light for kickoff.  The game remained close and competitive for the whole 60 minutes, though a turning point came when a Red Raider receiver pancaked a Golden Gopher defensive back in the end zone and walloped him — right in front of the back judge.  That led to the player, No. 22, to be summarily ejected from the game (and due to an arcane NCAA rule, he shall also have to sit out the opening game next year, too).  LeGarrette Blunt would no doubt be proud.  A third and goal near the one became a third and goal at about the fifteen.  The next play was botched, leading to a field goal.  Minnesota called a timeout just as the ball was snapped, and on the next, true snap, the Gophers blocked the kick!  A sure TD was reduced to, well, nothing.  Yes, in the end, the Red Raiders won on a last-second field goal.  Still, the game was riveting from the opening kickoff to the very last play, and that’s all we fans can ask for in any of these bowl games.

In all frankness and honesty, the 2012-2013 bowl season has been overall underwhelming this far.  The Little Caesars Bowl and the Independence Bowl (oh, my, have the mighty fallen!) have been nothing about which to write home, and similar things can be said for most of the other bowls up to this point.  But having said all that, it is worth pointing out that there have been some high points thus far, and odds are, it can only get better from here.  After all, Ronald Reagan himself was known to joke that if one searches through enough mounds of manure, sooner or later one is bound to find the pony!