College Football Week 5 Awards September 29, 2014

(Note:  All rankings are current AP [week 5] unless otherwise noted.)

COACHES

Wish I were him: Jim Mora, UCLA

Glad I’m not him: James Franklin, Penn State

Lucky guy: Gary Pinkel, Missouri

Poor guy: Steve Spurrier, South Carolina

Desperately seeking a wake-up call: Bobby Petrino, Louisville

Desperately seeking a P.R. man: Gary Patterson, TCU

Desperately seeking sunglasses and a fake beard: Jeff Monken, Army

Desperately seeking … anything:  Brady Hoke, Michigan

TEAMS

Thought you’d kick butt, you did: No. 17 LSU (defeated New Mexico State 63-7)

Thought you’d kick butt, you didn’t: No. 1 Florida State (defeated NC State 56-41)

Thought you’d get your butt kicked, you did: Wyoming (lost to No. 9 Michigan State 56-14)

Thought you’d get your butt kicked, you didn’t:  South Florida (lost to Wisconsin 27-10)

Thought you wouldn’t kick butt, you did:  Temple (defeated UConn 36-10)

Dang, they’re good: Auburn

Dang, they’re bad:  Tulane

You know, they’re not so bad:  Minnesota

Can’t Stand Prosperity:  Indiana

Did the season start?  South Carolina

Can the season end?  SMU

Can the season never end?  UCLA

GAMES

Play this again:  No. 6 Texas A&M 35, Arkansas 28 (OT)

Play this again, too:  Cal 59, Colorado 56

Never play this again: TCU 56, SMU 0

What? Northwestern 29, Penn State 6

Huh?  Yale 49, Army 43

Are you kidding me?  Maryland 37, Indiana 15

Oh – my – God:  Missouri 21, No. 13 South Carolina 20

NEXT WEEK

(rankings are current AP (post-week 5, pre-week 6)

Ticket to die for: No. 3 Alabama @ No. 11 Ole Miss (though you don’t want to miss No. 6 Texas A&M @ No. 12 Mississippi State, either, or No. 5 Auburn vs. No. 15 LSU, for that matter)

Best non-Power Five vs. Power Five matchup: North Texas @ Indiana

Best non-Power Five matchup: Utah State @ BYU (also, Southern Miss @ Middle Tennessee)

Upset alert: No. 14 Stanford @ No. 9 Notre Dame

Must win: Virginia Tech @ North Carolina

Offensive explosion: Arizona @ No. 2 Oregon (Thurs.)

Defensive struggle: Purdue @ Illinois

Great game no one is talking about: Louisville @ Syracuse (Fri.)

Intriguing coaching matchup: Rich Rodriquez of Arizona vs. Mark Helfrich of Oregon

Who’s bringing the body bags? Kansas @ West Virginia

Why are they playing? Marshall @ Old Dominion

Plenty of good seats remaining: Florida Atlantic @ Florida International

They shoot horses, don’t they?  SMU @ East Carolina

Week 5 Random Thoughts:

– Having made these types of weekly articles during the college football season for the third straight year, without a doubt, the most difficult thing to accurately predict is the “offensive explosion” game each week. This time, I got it fairly close, seeing as how the score between the Clemson vs. North Carolina game ended at 50-35, in favor of the Tigers. The only problem was, there were plenty other “offensive explosions” to choose from in hindsight, such as Florida State vs. North Carolina State (56-41), or even Cal vs. Colorado (59-53). Even the Army-Yale game kept the scoreboard lit up at 49-43, with the Bulldogs – an FCS team – beating the Black Knights, an FBS team. Still, with a combined tally of 85, the originally-designated game turned out to be a good prediction after all.

–  Just for the record, “defensive struggles” are comparatively easier to predict. At a final score of 24-10, the Iowa @ Purdue game delivered reasonably on that prognostication, though Vandy @ Kentucky bested at mark with a final score of 17-7 in favor of the Wildcats. Nevertheless, in this day and age of ubiquitous spread offenses and no-huddles, 24-10 easily qualifies as a low-scoring contest.

–  After watching Purdue slowly give the game away to Iowa at home, something occurred to me, in two parts. Yes, the Boilermakers have improved from last year, but they are still inept. Also, having your home stadium only two-thirds full for homecoming is not a good sign.

–  In case you missed the fireworks at last week’s post-game press conference, Steve Spurrier tore in to his own team…after [South Carolina] won.  Heaven knows the hell there will be to pay for the Gamecock players after coughing it up at home to Mizzou this past Saturday evening.

–  Meanwhile, on the West Coast, UCLA is on a roll right now, having thumped a respectable Arizona State team in the desert, 62-27.  Mark your calendars for Oct. 11, because if these shadows remain unchanged, the matchup between the Bruins and the Oregon Ducks on that date will be a ticket t0 die for, Pac-12 edition.

–  The powers that be at Kansas already fired Charlie Weis from the head coaching position…after only four games…and they were only 2-2 (hey give them credit:  they DID beat Southeast Missouri State and Central Michigan).  Granted, the program was, over the course of the past two to three years, headed in the wrong direction anyhow, but it still seems odd firing one’s head coach only four games into the season after a 2-2 record.  There are two take-aways from this.  One is that Charlie Weis is clearly not built to be a head coach.  He is a brilliant offensive mind, to be sure, but many men do not have what it takes to lead other men over the hill on the field of battle.  Weis is one of those of many.  In hindsight, he would have been better off staying at Florida as an offensive coordinator, as that job much more effectively plays to his strengths as a coach.  The other take-away is in regards to the questionably hasty firing.  This is Kansas, after all, and is yet another thing that explains why the program is a perpetual bottom-feeder, with this being the latest in their strategic blunders.