Remembering “Major League” during its 35th Year October 11, 2024

With baseball postseason in full-swing, it is worth taking a moment to reflect on the greatest baseball movie of all time, in the year that marks its 35th anniversary.  Of course I am talking about “Major League”.  Considering that the Ind…I mean, the Guardians are still in the playoffs as of this writing, it’s all the more fitting and proper to reflect on this great comedic film.

Considering how well the sport of baseball lends itself to good sports movies, what with its mile-deep lore and diehard fans’ predilections to romanticize the game, it would almost be considered sacrelige to place a vulgar comedy as the best of the baseball flicks.  The writer of the movie, David S. Ward, was himself a life-long Indians fan.  Since the MLB team in Cleveland was showing no signs of relief from struggle any time soon – nor would they for several more years – he set out to essentially make a fantasy storyline about how the team could actually evolve into a winning franchise.  He reasoned that the only way such a far-fetched scenario would be remotely credible was by making the movie a comedy.

So why place such a comedy at the top spot of movies about baseball?  Three reasons come to mind.  For one, the story covers many realistic baseball scenarios both on and off the field.  Second, the cast is outstanding, with a good mix of veterans and newcomers, much like that of a winning baseball team.  Third, the script is as flawless as it is memorable, if not more than a bit salty.

Believe it or not, despite the comedic aspects of the film (which are legion), the many situations portrayed fairly accurately reflect what one is to experience in a professional clubhouse.  Ex-major leaguer Trevor May breaks down all the realistic aspects of the story, which are surprisingly numerous. 

The players who show their station in life based on their choice of transportation to arrive at spring camp?  That rings true.  Having veterans trying to prove they are not hobbled by injuries from previous seasons?  That checks out correctly.  Rookies that struggle with holes in their game (e.g., Willie Mays Hayes, a contact-hitting speedster, continually hitting pop-ups, or slugger Cerrano unable to hit a curveball) is also covered.  The movie also thoroughly covers the ace pitcher as he struggles with control of the ball.  Let us not forget the pervasive fear of finding a red tag in your locker, “which means that the manager wants to see you because you just died and went down to the minors” in the words of veteran catcher Jake Taylor.  Such a fear speaks deeply to anyone with experience in the pro baseball ranks.

If that’s not enough, in contrast to the out-of-control pitching of the young, up-and-coming ace, is Harris, the salty veteran pitcher, almost a thinly-guised Gaylord Perry, who keeps Crisco on his chest and Vagisil on his hip to give him “another two to three-inches drop on [his] curveball”.

Of course, baseball is notorious for its many superstitions, and the movie personifies that like none other with Cerrano’s legendary voodoo idol, Jobu.  The Cuban slugger even converts his locker into his own private shrine to his one-of-a-kind Caribbean totem.

Veterans who take the rookies out to dinner?  Check.  The manager giving a speech to properly set the tone at the beginning of the season?  That also checks the box. 

What else checks the boxes?  Let’s see:  whirlpool machines in the locker rooms; players on the team making tongue-in-cheek commercials; and teams rallying behind a symbol, positive or negative, at midseason all speak to real experiences of baseball teams through the ages.

With realistic scenarios within the game covered, let us turn our attention to the thespians who brought the characters to life.  Such a look at the cast reveals how outstanding a fit each actor was for his/her role.  Tom Berenger brings an understated gravitas to veteran catcher Jake Taylor, who was plagued by problems with his knees late in his career, along with self-inflicted problems in his past personal life vis-a-vis womanizing escapades that he later resolves to move past as he struggles to keep those previous mistakes in the past.  Charlie Sheen, a up-and-comer at the time (he did previously join Berenger as part of the cast of “Platoon”), brings the right amount of flare to his role as Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn in his journey of growth from out-of-control reliever to become the team’s ace pitcher.  Wesley Snipes, before he became a household name, was another newcomer who delivered great comedic timing as the team’s rookie lead-off hitter/speedster.  And who can forget Dennis Haybert?  Long before he became a spokesman for Allstate Insurance, he was Pedro Cerrano, delivering a decent Cuban accent along with an incredible ability to hit the long ball – provided that the pitch is not a curveball.

Aside from Berenger, other veteran actors “bring it” in their roles, too.  Corbin Bernsen succeeds in playing Roger Dorn, a preppy, overpriced 3^rd baseman with fielding issues.  Venerable character actor Chelcie Ross shines as the aforementioned Harris, who becomes the unlikely provocateur of Cerrano.

And who can forget the late James Gammon as Lou Brown?  Gammon’s performance is the stuff of legend.  So convincing is he in this role, along with his distinctly low, gravely voice, that it becomes impossible to envision a more convincing prototype of the grizzled, dyed-in-the-wool baseball manager.

Speaking of legends, part of the icing on the proverbial cake is the great Bob Uecker as radio play-by-play announcer Harry Doyle.  Not a more perfect man could have been found for the role, for Uecker combined years of actual radio announcing experience – he was the voice of the Milwaukee Brewers for decades – with TV acting experience as well.  All he had to do in the role was be himself – with a little extra snark mixed in for good measure.

Finally, there’s the script itself.  No sports movie exists with a more flawless, or quotable script.  Any man whose blood is red can rattle off at least a few lines without much prompting.  To wit:

“Aw, I don’t know…”; “Hold it, hold it, hold it…”; “Hats for bats”; “Come on, Dorn, get in front of the damn ball!  Don’t get this olé bull—-!”; “I’m deeply moved!”; “Ees very bad to steal Jobu’s rum.”; “Aw, I couldn’t cut in the Mexican Leagues.”; “Interesting…”; “I think you can go get him now.”; “Good!  I like that kind of spirit in a player.”; “ALRIGHT!  Knock that —- off!”; “Me, I’m for wasting sportswriters’ time.  So, I thought we could all hang around and give them all a nice big —-burger to eat!”; “Personally, I think we got hosed on that call”.  “You can close the book on Keltner (thank God!).”; “That’s all we got, one g—d— hit?”; “Uh-oh, that’s it, I don’t think this one has the distance!”; “Haywood’s a convicted felon, isn’t he Monty?…Well, he should be.”; “Yo, bartender, Jobu needs a refill!”…

And of course, “Ju-ust a bit outside!”

All that is just a taste, to be sure. 

If all that is not enough, the final act of the movie has some of the finest situational baseball drama of any film, all the while offering a practically perfect payoff in the end.  One need not be a die-hard baseball fan to love the flick.  To this very day, it ranks as one of the greatest “guy movies” of all time.  Many of us have been with a group of friends who, while hanging out together with time to kill, elect to do so by watching a movie.  When trying to agree on what watch, if “Major League” is suggested, few are apt to reject it.  The reasons listed above go a long way to explain why.

Random notes:

*The white car that Roger Dorn pulls up in at the start of spring camp is a 1975 Excalibur Series III Phaeton.  The Excalibur brand began in the 1960s as an offshoot of Studebaker.  The cars themselves were styled after the 1928 Mercedes SSK.  By the 1970s, they came with Corvette-tuned Chevy 327 engines under the hood, providing 300 horsepower for a car that weighted only 2,100 pounds, which is lighter than most cars today.

*The Volkswagen Beetle that Willie Mays Hayes arrives in for spring training not only has a subtle two-tone paint job (along with gangster walls on the tires), but also a custom grille styled after that of a Rolls-Royce.  Such was a popular custom feature on VW bugs back in the 1970s, which lends some intrigue to Hayes’ unspoken backstory.

*Speaking of the character played by Wesley Snipes, the name “Willie Mays Hayes” is a combination of two legendary athletes.  The first one is quite obvious – Willie Mays – but the latter, less so.  The last name of “Hayes” is a reference to “Bullet Bob” Hayes, who, for a stretch in the 1960s, was the fastest man in the world, hence Snipes’ character’s own fleetness of foot.  Indeed, while Mays continued to build on his legendary career, Bob Hayes won gold medals at the 1964 Summer Olympics in both the 100m dash and the 4x100m relay.  The same year, he was drafted by the Dallas Cowboys and went on to a prominent career in the NFL, becoming the only person to this day with both an Olympic gold medal and a Super Bowl ring.  Quite a legacy in one name for the role Snipes adeptly played in this film.